Alphabet Soup of Who or What I’m Not

A is for Attorney. Although I am not an attorney, I had plans to become one. My dad noticed my talent at giving people the third degree, and affectionately called me the “County Persecutor.” I thought this meant I should become an attorney, so planned to do so all throughout junior high and half of high school. Then I came to my senses.

B is for Blonde. Although my driver’s license says I have blonde hair, it’s really more of a brown color. Some of it turns blonde during the summer if I’m in the sun a lot, but I’m really not blonde. Wonder how that description got on there. Is someone else filling out this info? I just looked at the weight listed on there, and it seems to be off by a few pounds too. Hmmm.

C is for Computer Whiz. Back in the ancient days at my secretarial job, we got this neat new gadget called a “Word Processor.” It was cool! Way neater than the typewriter! But, this high tech tool required 40 hours of training on it. I was SO with it back then, it only took me 24 hours! But, now, I don’t have to be a computer whiz. Why? Cause I have KIDS! They have brain parts that make everything computer-related obvious and simple, so I just ask them.

D is for Difficult to Understand. I grew up in the heartland of the USA, where we have NO accent (ha ha). I believed that those in the south, the northeast, the southwest, the north, etc., had little speech quirks that made it easy to tell where they were from. And although I can tell if someone is from Boston, Alabama, Michigan, or Virginia, I realize that we midwesterners have a few little quirks of our own.

E is for Elegant. Oh I wish I were elegant, and perhaps I have a few little elegant elements, but when I think of Elegant, I think of beautiful clothing (which apparently doesn’t include jeans and running shoes), tall (5’3″ doesn’t qualify), and regal (I usually have some kind of food on my shoulder, thanks to my little guy). So, while I’m a lot of other things, I don’t really think I am elegant.

Unless I break this post into parts, I will be here all day writing. So, I’ll continue this on another post. Bet you can’t wait!

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