More Alphabet Soup

F is for Farmer. When I was a kid, I spent many magical days on my grandmother’s farm in Oklahoma during summer breaks from school. I loved her farm more than anywhere I had ever been. There was something so beautiful and special about the wheatfields gently swaying in the wind, and something so noble about my relatives bringing in the harvest. I felt so honored to ever be a part of the harvest, whether I was bringing “the men” meals in the field, or driving the combine (only once). Even though I was around the farm and farmers a lot of my childhood, farming and gardening did not rub off on me. I suppose I have always been moving a little too fast to see the value in me personally planting and waiting for the fruit or flower. I do have hope that someday I will enjoy gardening, but for now, I’m definitely not a farmer.

G is for Garage Saler. Once, when my husband and I moved to another country for an extended period, we did have a pretty big moving sale and made a decent amount of money. Besides that sale, I’ve had maybe two others and the last one convinced me that there is no way it is worth my time to stand outside for hours and hours just to make $36, which is the grand total I made at my last sale. Not only do I not like HAVING garage sales, I almost never GO to garage sales. I once knew someone who managed to find a missing piece from a toyset and she only paid a nickel for it! And I hear these kinds of stories all the time and I have no doubt they are true. For me, though, the occasional swing by a garage sale satisfies any small desire I have to get bargains this way. I also only like to shop this way when I have something I am specifically looking for. I was able to get a nice desk chair and very nice TV for $35 about a year ago. It might be the same thing as the gardening/farming — if I didn’t already have fifty-eleven things to do every minute of every day, maybe I would enjoy garage-saling. But, I don’t.

H is for Hair Color. So far, my hair color is whatever it is when it grows out of my scalp. I’m getting some gray at my temples, but I still don’t have much overall. My hairdresser would be glad to cover up that gray. But, my thought is, once I start, I have to keep on coloring, and I don’t like stuff like that. I can’t tell you how many times stylists have asked me if I’m growing out some color because my hair grows lighter in the summer, and never paying much attention to it, the blond eventually grows out, leaving me with two colors of hair. I’m not morally opposed to hair color or anything, although I worry about the chemicals in the colorant. It’s just that once I start, I don’t see any way to stop. I’ll just keep my natural color for now, thank you.

I is for Impudent. When I was a kid, my neighbor “Dr. D” called me “saucy and impudent.” I THINK he was just kidding, but with many jokes there is an element of truth. Impudent means “marked by contemptuousness or cocky boldness or disregard of others: insolent.” And I know that whatever I was as a child, I wasn’t any of those things! I was such the rule-following, good-girl, adult-pleasing child that I am hard-pressed to think I would have expressed contempt, cockiness, or insolence! Dr. D., maybe you were projecting!!!

J is for Jury Member. So far in all my adult life, I have not been called for jury duty. I’ve always wondered how people who serve on juries can really disregard information they get, either through something overruled in the trial, or through the media. Maybe someday I’ll find out by being on a jury where I have to “disregard” something.

That’s all the alphabet soup in the can today.

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