Daily Archives: July 5, 2013

The Cloak of Invisibility

6:30am GMT

Dear Blogger Customer Service,

It has come to my attention that you may have inadvertently invoked the “Cloak of Invisibility” clause and applied it to my blog. I say this because although I have checked Facebook and email religiously the past few days, it seems no one is reading my blog. I can only conclude that this is due to your mistaken idea that I had asked for the COI to be applied herein. Please advise.

Thank you.
Siouxsie
Siouxsie’sMusings

6:37am PST

Dear Souisxie,

We have received your request to invoke the “Cloak of Invisibility” on your blog. Although we do not advise this, as it will make your posts unavailable to all readers except your mother, we are here to serve.

Sincerely,
Customer (dis)Service
Blogger

6:38am GST

Dear Blogger Customer Service,

No, No, No, No! I do not WANT the COI to be applied to my blog. Please reverse this immediately. My readership is small and faithful, and will be discouraged if they cannot read whatever Siouxsie is Miouxsing about.

Thank you in advance.
Siouxsie
Siouxsie’s Musings

7:45am CST

Dear Mouiouoxsie,

In order to reverse your request to invoke the Cloak of Invisibility on your account, which we do NOT advise invoking, as it significantly reduces your already tiny readership, please forward by certified mail, three notarized affidavits by readers who are willing to vouch for your actual humanity. We have had a great deal of trouble with “bots” writing blogs, and our computer programs have detected a high level of material on your blog that could have been written by a “bot.” We await your response, Mr. Muoiuosie.

Sincerely,
Customer (dis)Service
Blogger

7:45:10am Turkish Time

Hey,

I didn’t ask for this Cloak of Invisibility thing in the first place, and I’ll be derned if I’m going to fabricate three letters from my readers, although as many times as I check to see if anyone has visited my blog, I could certainly qualify for that. Take it off. NOW.

Git it done, eh.
Siouxsie
Siouxsie’s Musings

9:39pm MST

Dear Sir or Madam,

Please check your computer to see if it has been taken over by “bots.” We have been receiving communication from this ISP address which indicates that you want to have the Cloak of Invisibility invoked on your blog. We simply do not recommend this. Please see our FAK page at wwww.FAX.hun.org.com. The Cloak of Invisibility will significantly cut down your readership. What do you NOT understand here?

Sincerely,
Always at your service,
Blogger

9:40am Aussie Time

Yeah, ok. Please invoke the Cloak of Invisibility. I will continue to write, but now I will be sure that no one is getting to see it. That will reduce the sharp disappointment I feel every time I write a post and receive no comments whatsoever. I know yesterday was the 4th of July, and people were out running 5k races, marching in parades, setting off fireworks, and generally celebrating with their good friends and families, but wouldn’t at least one of them have had time to check Facebook and click on my link? I’m so confused.

Sadly,
Siouxsie
Siouxsie’s Musings

9:45gm GMT Greenwich

Dear Siouxsie,

We have received your request to remove the Cloak of Invisibility and have done so. All you had to do was ask! As you know, we do not recommend the Cloak of Invisibility to our bloggers.

If you should ever want to reinstate the COI, simply email us and we will be glad to help. For now, keep on blogging and enjoy your day.

Mostly sincerely,
Blogger Customer Service Extraordinaire.

I may have spoken too soon

“If you will recall,” the reason I decided to look for a job outside our home is because I am just a LITTLE too good at solitude, and I thought this particular job would meet several needs:

1. Sounded like fun. As my friend called it, “the zen of shelf stocking.”

2. Money could change hands. Me doing work in exchange for a few pennies every so often.

3. Gives me a reason to go somewhere and see people. Talk to them. Listen to them. Ask questions. Be seen by people outside my home, so they know I still exist.

Then came the bandaids, which are something I don’t want to have to pay a lot of attention to, because there’s NOT ENOUGH SAND.

But, please refer back to #3.

See, I realized a couple of things. At home, there are also mundane things that I do. Pick up the toys. A hundred times. Handle the extra packets that come with takeout food. (There’s an important job!) Figure out if we need more tissues. Flatten and roll the plastic grocery bags. You know what? Those are mundane things, but I do them because they need to be done. And, not that I need to get paid for everything, but I don’t get paid for any of those things. That’s ok.

I didn’t take this job because of the money. And everything I said the other day was true! If I had to deal with those bandaids all day long, I would definitely run screaming the other way. But, that’s not all I do. While I am doing these mundane tasks, some of which are quite zen-like, I am also being in relationship with the people I work with and for, the customers who shop at our store, and my co-workers. None of those people and I will have a relationship if I am at home.

Many of these relationships may be just a small step more personal than online relationships I have with people, but they are a small step more personal. I need people. People need me. So, I’m staying for now. And I’ll bring my kindness and joy to my work and to the people I work with, and I will be the recipient of the grace and poetry that is people in all shapes and sizes.

My boss was happy when I called and asked her to tear up my resignation letter. And so was I.

What do you find satisfying in your work?