Another Guest Post by My Son

Recently I lost my job. This was definitely not my choice, although my company was kind enough to allow me to “quit.” I loved my job. It was the best job I’ve ever had and the best job I feel like I could have at this point in my life. So, of course, the question remains: why the hell did I lose the job? What could I have possibly done to jepoardize my beloved source of income? Well, I did what I’ve done for LITERALLY ever and figured that since rules didn’t apply to my coworkers, they didn’t apply to me either. I used my employee discount to get a friend some money off of a product. Nearly everyone did it, except maybe management. All my coworkers did. It was common. It was talked about and it was known about by management. Or so I thought. But as I sat in the office and looked at my manager’s face as he explained to me I could quit or get fired – no other options – I realized it probably wasn’t as clear cut as I thought it was. “I thought everyone did this.”

“No…no, they don’t.”

I felt so fucking stupid. Here was a company who had given me a chance. I had been convicted of drug and criminal trespassing charges and had a pending felony and they had given me a chance to do something I loved doing. And I had screwed it up in literally the dumbest way possible. 

I’m so tempted to hate myself for it, to wallow around and be depressed about not having the job anymore. Today, however, I realized something. I need to go get another job, and I need to accept the fact that I almost definitely will not enjoy it as much. The reason for this is because my entire life I’ve been so incredibly negative about every major event, because reasons (Jesus, I don’t know why, that’s just how it’s always been). But losing a job that I love is an excellent, excellent reason to go do a bunch of drugs. And, as I’ve stated before, drugs tend to put me in jail. 

I hate jail.

So I’m going to go apply to Speedway, and to Kroger and Meijer and I might even apply to a few fast food places. Because I’d rather come home smelling like grease every day, being able to make my car and insurance payments, phone bill, and everything else I have, than looking good and smelling good and selling cocaine to scrape enough money together to buy food. 

So I’m going to go to the gym, and drink protein shakes and sweat and lift weights. Because I’d rather come home sweaty, exhausted, and healthy than weighing 110 pounds because I’m always too high to eat. 

Plus I’ve heard you get a high from running!

4 thoughts on “Another Guest Post by My Son

  1. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world. I love reading about you and your journey. I get how your acceptance that the next job might not be as enjoyable is an important step toward getting out there and getting *something* that provides a paycheck, but I’m still pulling for you to land in something that is interesting and feels good. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You just crossed a very big finish line whether you realize it or not..You are getting your image in focus.. It is defined by YOU ( not to what everybody else thinks it should be) ..Bravo to YOU!! … Hey listen up.. Right now there are a few people out here that LOVE your writing..and me thinks there would be a whole lot more out there to share your journey with… start a blog and WRITE — a few minutes every day.. pick a different have many i can feel them brewing in you..Bubble up and share them..we’re Listen and Hear..Best to you..Cheers,estelle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post with such honesty. Agree with Estelle – you totally need to share more. This is my first time reading your writing – loved it. I’d follow you.

    Liked by 1 person

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