As a keto enthusiast, my list of foods is pleasing to me, positive for me, and pretty consistent. I suppose most people have a list of foods they typically eat, and it probably contains foods that get eaten regularly. That’s probably the difference between a healthy diet and an unhealthy one, whether or not the typical foods are full of nutrients, or full of nothing but empty calories.
On Fridays, I make “fathead dough nachos,” which is simply a keto-friendly dough, cooked and cut into triangles, and served with grated cheese and pico de gallo. It’s a perfectly legitimate keto food, but I keep it as a treat for once a week.
Yesterday, I went to make the nachos and my dough was acting very strange. Dry as all get out. I looked to make sure I had grabbed the almond flour bag. Yep, it said Almond Flour on it. I was talking at the time but I didn’t think that would have made any difference. Decided to set that batch aside and try again. However, I did the same exact steps with the same exact ingredients, having decided that my scale was acting up because it had been unplugged for awhile.
The second batch also seemed pretty dry but I pressed on because I knew I had the correct amounts the second time. As we choked down the nachos, it finally occurred to me to look closer at the almond flour. Aha. The bag said “Try our other products like Almond Flour.” And it all came together. This bag contained coconut flour; also keto-friendly, but made up of an entirely different product and yielding a way different product.
The embarrassing truth is, I was bitterly disappointed. I didn’t just blow it off, laugh it off, or otherwise take it lightly. And that made me realize that my dependence on that treat was maybe a little out of balance. I’ve been seeing it as a reward for all my perfect eating all week, when the actual reward is the results of the way I am eating. Which made me realize how “soft” I really am, how coddled.
Sure, there are a few hard things in my life, but not many and not very big, in the scheme of things. I think I have a pretty strong illusion of control of my life, if not actual control of quite a few things. And while I utilize my ability to choose in sometimes positive ways for myself and others, here I am, again, realizing that the way I interpret and explain things is either incomplete or short-sighted or both.
During March, I have been looking at circumstances and asking what is being offered to me in terms of life lessons. I’ve really only been asking in tiny whispers and a tiny font, but the Universe is a really good listener and showed me that I’m waaaaaay too attached to outcomes. As much as I write about life being a journey, not a destination, I LOVE closure and answers and I guess it’s going to be a life-long challenge for me to focus on the process, to be right where I am, to learn to be present.
Would you be disappointed if your weekly treat was a big fat fail? How do you, kind readers, stay unattached to outcome?