While making “plans” for this trip, I blithely decided to fly back to JFK, then hop over to LGA to catch a morning flight direct to CVG rather than staying at JFK and only having the choice to travel for 6-8 hours today with a significant layover.

So the thing is, LGA pretty much closes for the night. Security closes, there are no humans at the ticket desk, and besides the floor polisher, only an occasional worker walks by now and again.

How thrilled was I to arrive at closed security and realize my flight wasn’t for 8 hours yet.

Being the resourceful Frostie that I am, I spied a Delta luggage carrier. I blame traveling for my fuzzy brain that forgot to take a picture of my snug little home away from home for the night. Big enough to hold me and my bags, I sat down and wondered if someone was going to come along and inform me I couldn’t be there.

Edited to add:

I was feeling a little exposed right out there in the (empty) security waiting area, so I found a little nook where I could be hidden from most people.

I realized at some point that while I might have no options for food or water until security opened, I was probably going to need a bathroom.

Imagine my surprise when there happened to be one right next to the security area. This entire area is new and very clean, including the bathroom. This is important for later.

A brainstorm! I decided to see if the handicapped toilet could be used as a secure hotel room for a few hours. Imagine my delight when me and my portable home fit right in there without coming into contact with the actual toilet.

Suddenly, as I slid the lock bolt into the slot, I felt safe and secure and even thought I would be ok going to sleep for awhile. It was about 12:30 and I didn’t think security would open until 5am.

About the best that can be said for using a luggage cart as a bed is it certainly does keep you off the floor. But a Sleep Number bed it is not, unless there is a number called Concrete.

I set my alarm in my en suite for 4:30 am. Lo and behold, at about 330, Poppy and her granddaughter Chatty Cathy came into the Salle de Bain Hotel.

This is when I learned that the light on the ceiling glows red if the stall is occupied and green if not. Chatty was mystified why the light over my en suite would be red since she had seen nor heard anyone.

Time to get up, I decided. Poppy and Chatty gracefully covered their shock at this (homeless?) person exiting the handicapped stall.

Thankfully security was now open at 330am and my security staff took care of screening and then they sent me off to my own private airport corridors.

I make myself amused for so many reasons. First, unless you were there (and I definitely did not see you), I imagine you are imagining something awful. Sleeping in a bathroom?? What is this madness??? Please believe when I say this was definitely the best option I could see.

So now I wait. I’ve made it to the gate and have about four hours before takeoff. Some of these food places better open pretty soon as some part of me is insisting it needs food.

Coming to you at 4:12 am from Gate 68, I remain very truly yours, Siouxsie.