Tag Archives: forgiveness

When You’re Eatin’ that Humble Pie

Stephen Covey first (?) wrote about a Circle of Concern and a Circle of Influence. My Circle of Influence is those things that I am aware of that I can have some impact on (my choices, how i use my time). My Circle of Concern is things that I pay attention to that I most likely cannot influence (the news, the weather.). However, I have been using Circle of Concern for everything that I need to think about, confusing “concern” with “responsibility.”

As I’ve always enjoyed math, and closure, and solving puzzles, I have been the natural numbers person on our team. I suppose it is somewhat true that I have an aptitude for numbers. But. I made a big mistake. And I didn’t realize it until yesterday.

We opened a business credit card account in January, whereupon I expected the account to appear on my online banking. Having dealt with online banking for many years, and having done away with paper statements years ago, I rely solely on my computer for the visual reminders. The new account did not appear online, nor did I receive a electronic statement. Finally, the new account came to my awareness, and I immediately went into the bank to inquire. By now, the payment was a few days past due. I paid the bill and asked that the late fee be reversed. It was. The account was added to my online banking.

The next month, I noticed that the interest rate had increased from 0% to 29.99%, which just seems like highway robbery. These conditions were no doubt explained in the account paperwork, but I wouldn’t have cared even if I knew. I pay on time.

Since the bank never notified me of the payment due date, the excessive interest rate seemed even more outrageous and unfair. Yesterday, I met with two of the bank managers and explained my situation. Like Demi Moore in A Few Good Men, strenuously object[ed]. Normally very calm, I allowed some emotion and intensity into my voice as we spoke. The managers agreed to escalate the situation and see what could be done.

Later, one of the bank managers called to tell me that the all statements for the credit card account had been mailed to our  P.O. box. I don’t remember receiving it, but that doesn’t mean anything. I rely completely on the visual reminder of the online banking to keep me on task.

Today, I realized I was mistaken in blaming the bank. It was I who was depending on a method of communication that didn’t happen and ignoring a less preferred means of communication that did happen.

Well, I figured if I could justify ranting and raving about “their” mistake, I could certainly justify taking time to apologize. Which I did. Besides apologizing and owning my mistake. I also said they didn’t have to escalate it, but they said they were still going to see what could be done.

Do you remember when banking was simple? One had to drive to the bank and talk to a human for each transaction. One kept a written account of one’s transactions, and reconciled them monthly, sometimes spending a good amount of time trying to find the elusive $6.23. Sure, online banking does simplify some aspects, but if that’s the case, how ironic that my experience with my bank is so darn complicated. There are lots of federal policies about banking that seem to make a whole lot of money for the banking industry, which feels a bit like the rich devising lots of ways to take from the little people. (Maybe another [mis]perception I might explore.)

Be that as it may, and as much as I really don’t like to learn expensive lessons, I suppose, as Robert Frost wrote in A Servant to Servants, the best way out of this is through.

Sigh. Good thing I like pie.

On Josh Duggar; or How Can You Mend a Broken Heart

One of my FB friends “liked” a post by someone else which mentioned something about Josh Duggar molesting some girls when he was a teen. Piqued my curiosity, so I went looking for deets.

I have heard of the television show but have never watched it, nor would I be interested in it at all. I do not follow the Duggars in any form, nor look to them as any source of information, education, or anything that I would desire. So, let’s just get that straight. OK.

I visited a couple of websites to see what the story is that is being reported. And I read some of the comments. My initial response to both the story and the comments is grief at the brokenness that is part of a boy who would act out like he did, grief at the shame and pain that the girls would have experienced, no matter how they were counseled afterwards, and grief that people feel so very free to condemn josh duggar, his parents, his beliefs, christianity, christians, and anyone who would dare to suggest that someone like josh duggar deserves anything other than a slow death by the most painful means possible.

My response to the story is this. I DON’T KNOW all the details, and therefore really cannot speak to it other than to say I do believe that healing exists and occurs relative to sexual molestation, and I do believe that forgiveness exists and occurs when people hurt other people. Which means, even though I don’t know what happened and where all of the players are now, I believe that healing and forgiveness are truly possible.

Josh Duggar is outside of the scope of any legal ramifications, from what I understand, but the School of Life has certainly brought an opportunity to him to face up to and take responsibility for the choice to hide something so serious, and to take responsibility for his future course regarding being in a position of authority in an area where he may still very much have deep wounds.

Blogging about these things opens me up to expressing my thoughts as well as being in a position to receive comments from readers who disagree, or agree, or a little of both. I had the opportunity to interact on Facebook about my post from yesterday with someone from high school I have not talked with in many years. He is deeply involved in the eastern orthodox church, I believe, and has written several books about politics. The point he made initially confused me, but as I thought I about it, I realized he had a legitimate point and I learned from what he said. Maybe he learned from what I said, too, but sometimes it seems like the more confident one is in one’s beliefs, the harder it is to really listen to someone else’s point of view. At any rate, the interaction was rich and welcome, and I am so glad for the opportunity to interact with people I know and those I do not know in real life via my blog.

Thanks for reading.