Eli has been home from in-patient rehab for one week now. I love having him home, especially since he obviously is in a VERY different place than he was when he went in a few months ago.
Today, he asked if I could help him with some gas money. He’s in the process of starting new jobs, and so is more dependent until he starts getting paid. We are glad to help him get back on his feet. I handed him $40 and off he went.
As soon as he left, I was gripped with this panic and fear about having given him cash. But instead of judging myself for that, I just texted him and told him that I was feeling a need to be reassured that the money was actually going for gas.
He sent me pictures and videos to reassure me. They made me laugh, and I asked if I could share them. He is so much fun to be around and these pics and vids show what a creative, cool guy he is.
He sent me “Reassurance exhibit A:” empty gas tank.
Reassurance exhibit B:
Reassurance exhibit C:
And finally,
I am so glad I am not judging myself. I am so glad he can prove in a fun way that he is using the money like he said he would. I am so glad we can share the fun of this and text about it and allow the process to strengthen our relationship.