Tag Archives: listening

The Universe has Spoken

Three times I attempted to edit a post I had started a few weeks ago. Three times this evening. After I couldn’t actually update the post the third time, I took that to mean I was to write a different post tonight.

Today we got our carpets cleaned by a relative of mine who does this on the side and has for 35 years. My mom had mentioned that he had done her carpets and the price had been dirt cheap. 

From that sentence, I created an entire reality about what the price was, what I would most likely pay, what carpets in her house were cleaned by him, and the approximate time to the past in which this had occurred.

I guess I do this pretty often, construct a reality of my own creation without the actual facts. 

As it happened, the price he charged me was certainly fair, but much more than I was expecting. As it happened, he only cleaned one room in her house. As it happened, this took place many years ago. 

I see this often in myself, where I think I understand something immediately when actually I’m jumping to all kinds of conclusions. Before I was aware of this, I wonder if it was an obnoxious trait, or if people just let me go on with my little fiction story, figuring I’d realize sooner or later that what I was saying was so not based in fact. 

I am learning to listen better but it is definitely a challenge to really give the speaker my attention and remember to ask questions! I love asking questions! Making assumptions is an area where I see much room for growth and improvement! 

Because you know they say when you assume, it makes an ass out of u and me, but I think mostly it makes an ass out of the one who does the assuming, which in this case, is me. Note to self: work on seeking first to understand before thinking you understand. 

On Josh Duggar; or How Can You Mend a Broken Heart

One of my FB friends “liked” a post by someone else which mentioned something about Josh Duggar molesting some girls when he was a teen. Piqued my curiosity, so I went looking for deets.

I have heard of the television show but have never watched it, nor would I be interested in it at all. I do not follow the Duggars in any form, nor look to them as any source of information, education, or anything that I would desire. So, let’s just get that straight. OK.

I visited a couple of websites to see what the story is that is being reported. And I read some of the comments. My initial response to both the story and the comments is grief at the brokenness that is part of a boy who would act out like he did, grief at the shame and pain that the girls would have experienced, no matter how they were counseled afterwards, and grief that people feel so very free to condemn josh duggar, his parents, his beliefs, christianity, christians, and anyone who would dare to suggest that someone like josh duggar deserves anything other than a slow death by the most painful means possible.

My response to the story is this. I DON’T KNOW all the details, and therefore really cannot speak to it other than to say I do believe that healing exists and occurs relative to sexual molestation, and I do believe that forgiveness exists and occurs when people hurt other people. Which means, even though I don’t know what happened and where all of the players are now, I believe that healing and forgiveness are truly possible.

Josh Duggar is outside of the scope of any legal ramifications, from what I understand, but the School of Life has certainly brought an opportunity to him to face up to and take responsibility for the choice to hide something so serious, and to take responsibility for his future course regarding being in a position of authority in an area where he may still very much have deep wounds.

Blogging about these things opens me up to expressing my thoughts as well as being in a position to receive comments from readers who disagree, or agree, or a little of both. I had the opportunity to interact on Facebook about my post from yesterday with someone from high school I have not talked with in many years. He is deeply involved in the eastern orthodox church, I believe, and has written several books about politics. The point he made initially confused me, but as I thought I about it, I realized he had a legitimate point and I learned from what he said. Maybe he learned from what I said, too, but sometimes it seems like the more confident one is in one’s beliefs, the harder it is to really listen to someone else’s point of view. At any rate, the interaction was rich and welcome, and I am so glad for the opportunity to interact with people I know and those I do not know in real life via my blog.

Thanks for reading.