Down syndrome is a genetic disorder which stems from all or part of an extra copy on chromosome 21. People with Ds have distinctive facial features, some degree of intellectual disability, and an increased risk of certain physical conditions or illnesses. People with Down syndrome can and do learn and many lead meaningful lives. I love someone with Down syndrome. If you knew him, you would love him too.  

Daniel Goleman wrote a book called Emotional Intelligence. He discussed the components that comprise emotional intelligence: 

Self-awareness, self-management, motivation, empathy, social skills. These are all skills individuals with special needs must develop. The more emotionally intelligent, the more self-aware and able to manage one’s self, the better the outcomes. 

Story time about the main character of this month’s posts. 

Kepler has a friend, also born with Ds, who he has known for about 7 years now. We will call him Sam. Sam’s parents have a more authoritarian parenting approach than we do. 

Sam struggles to manage his own behavior because mom is always ready to pounce when he “messes up.” Her parenting style also includes some positive aspects, but this boy vacillates between loving Kepler and being a bit of a bully. 

A few months ago, Sam took it upon himself to control Kepler’s lunch intake. He took Kepler’s can of root beer and insisted Kepler was not allowed to have it. Staying calm, Kepler told him he had brought it from home and he was indeed allowed to have it. (self-management, social skills)

Sam refused to accept this. He poured out the soda into the trash and threw away the can. 

Amazingly, not only did Kepler stay calm, but on his own initiative, he wrote a letter to the other boy explaining how his actions made Kepler feel. I didn’t see the letter, only heard about it from his teacher, who was blown away by Kepler’s actions.

I see all five elements of emotional intelligence in that story. He managed his own emotions, and was aware of them. His had empathy for Sam, used his social skills to communicate and advocate for himself, and did it from the motivation of wanting to communicate his feelings. 

Emotional intelligence isn’t specifically a trait of people with Down syndrome, but Kepler sure has it. I learn from him all the time.