In the bad neighborhood of my brain, boogie monsters abound. One of the worst, lurking in every dark doorway and popping out of alleys is Ms YouSuckInSoManyWays.
She likes to harp on my minuscule friend “group.” She points it out all the time and has this shrill way of comparing me to other people (like she knows anything).
I went to the track meet by myself yesterday. Ms YSISMW told me I was a loser for that. She also noticed [name redacted] chatting with several others, and pointed out that I don’t have as many friends as [name redacted] does.
Funny thing, though. Three different people I hadn’t talked to in years SOUGHT ME OUT to reconnect. I saw the bright lights beyond the bad neighborhood for a second.
Other boogie monsters popped up. Ms YouHaveMadeSuchBadDecisions wouldn’t STFU. Also Ms CouldYouBEAnyWorseOfAMother? And believe me, she NEVER stops yammering. And several others. Who put these people in my head? Me, of course, but that’s not the point.
The point is these characters are liars! They only want what’s bad for me. To borrow a phrase I read this week, if anyone has any home remedies or medicinal solutions for cleaning up my neighborhood, please do pass them along.
In the meantime, I will hold on to the fact of the three lovely people who sought me out. That’s a fact.
ClearingSpace4Joy 
Yeah, I hear you. I have similar acquaintances that park themselves in my head. I have to remember, they are not real….
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not real, not nice, not needed.
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we all have those ridiculous and horribly chatty alter=egos. I just tell them to STFU and go about doing whatever I want to do. It annoys them enough to leave me alone for a while.
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Well, Suze, if it worked for me to just tell them to STFU i most certainly would. Of course, maybe I should try it before i decry it.
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lol
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I left a second message in reply to you and I hope you will read it. I took five seconds more to think about your reply and realized you have a pretty good idea there that I haven’t actually tried.
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I don’t know if I have tried telling them that. Today’s goal: taking a more aggressive attitude about this.
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It’s natural to compare, but sometimes we do need to remind ourselves that one situation is one situation. I don’t have a lot of friends, partly because I changed my standards for who I count as a friend.
That said, it’s so frustrating that even when those critical people aren’t there we hear those we’ve internalized, criticizing away. I’m with Suze. 🙂
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For sure. I’ve been practicing telling those meanies to STFU since this morning. Kinda makes me feel lije i do when I lift weights. Like a badass.
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YES!!
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I love hearing you’re invoking your badass self in response to these mean voices. It’s called healthy boundaries. Sometimes we have to set them internally. And if you want to play around with different energies, you experiment with different answers. For instance, “No, no, NO, you are not welcome here.” Also, “Satan, get thee behind me.” LOL. How about, “I do not tolerate bullies. Be gone!” Or, “Enough of this! I’ve got better things to do with my time.” When an answer brings a smile to your face, you’re on the right track. Of course, if STFU does it, by all means, use the $hit out of that one!!!!
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thanks! i was going to talk to you about this later! specifixally about the energy!
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Insightful posts as always. I can easily relate to your frustrations here. I’ve always had trouble with making friends since an early age. Being a shy adolescent, I found it difficult during my high school years to find friends that gave me fair treatment. I was a lonely kid that never fit in with the popular kids in my school. I did make a few acquaintances over the years, but they were rarely ever meant to last forever. I remember one friendship in school that was ruined by hardship. I had become close to a friend with whom I shared a love for soccer. We would enjoy spending time with each other by playing the game together. However, one day he suddenly decided that he didn’t want to meet me anymore. He went from a close companion to a bully that treated me poorly. The worst part is that I simply couldn’t understand why he became a cruel person that broke my heart. Years later, the sad fact is that we completely lost touch with one another.
A fantastic film capturing my failures forming lasting friendships is “The Banshees of Inisherin”. It tells the story of two Irish friends separated by forces of fate during the 1920’s. Here’s why I recommend it strongly:
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