Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
(I’d say the last thing I need to be doing is ruminating on wishing I had made a different decision, but the show must go on.)
I remember a time I didn’t take action. Well, I did act, but didn’t take The Action.
The sixth grade spelling bee was down to the wire. Just me and Tina Hansel. Her word was “socket.” She had a little bit of a twang when she spoke so she spelled the word (correctly, I thought) but it sounded like s-o-c-k-A-t. I heard her spell it (correctly, I thought) believing that her e was just a little twangy.
The superintendent of schools was overseeing the spelling bee. “I’m sorry, but that is incorrect,” said The Superintendent of Schools.
I was stunned. He then gave the word to me. I paused, racking my brains for what the spelling could possibly be. Finally, I spelled it, correctly, the same way Tina had.
S-o-c-k-e-t. “That is correct.” There must have been one more word I had to spell, but it is long gone now.
Now many years later I wonder about this memory. Were there others who thought she spelled it right? Why didn’t anyone speak up? I don’t think she would have misspelled that word.
I felt bad later that I hadn’t spoken up. But by the same token, it was the superintendent giving out the words. Who was I, an 11yo girl, to question the superintendent? Maybe in one of John Green’s YA novels, the protagonist would have spoken up. Would you have?
I feel confident that my motivation was not “win-by-any-means.” I think I just didn’t know what to do.
1. What word did you win, or lose, the spelling bee on?
2. What would have happened if I had said hey supe I think she spelled it right?
3. Do you know the wonder that is John Green?
4.
5. What do you think about the national spelling bee being televised and made into the big deal that it is today?
6. Is the spelling bee uniquely American?
ClearingSpace4Joy 
I would LOVE to track down Tina Hansel and get her take on this memory!!! I also have boatloads of compassion for the 11 year old you who felt confused and distressed in that moment and beyond. ((hug)) So much pressure in a competition like that. In my perfect world, there is greater focus on collaboration and creativity than competition. Perhaps competition has value when the winning serves the collective, but when it is used to be the single best in the school or the city or the world, I’m not sure it truly serves anyone. I realize this is not a popular stance and I’d be interested in a philosophical discussion about it.
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it is strictly American in origin, but has moved on to other countries since the 1990s……
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I think you are probably ok. If Tina spelled it with an “e”, she may have spoken up. Thankfully, it’s the superintendent’s call!
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Spelling bees happen in Canada, but I don’t know if they happen at a national level. You were too young to know the proper action — it was to spell the word exactly as the superintendent “thought” he heard Tina spell it. The tournament would have gone on. But you played by the rules of the game, not by the rules of life. You cannot be faulted for that.
I cetainly cannot remember what words I won or lost spelling bees on. We had them in class all the time, and at the end of the year we competed for the school title. I don’t remember ever going to a higher level though I won our school championship 3 years running, which included competing against higher grades. It wasn’t really cheating, but in my mind it was a big advantage: i started reading adult books before I even started school. My brothers would bring them home, and like everything else, they were haned down to me. The basic Run Jane Run books the other kids were learning in school were so simple, but somehow I knew to pretend they were hard. By the time I started school, a year early because of a mistake my sister made filling out my application form, I had already read my favourite book at that time, The Wind in the Willows, over 100 times. I loved the idea of talking animals.
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You must have been a voracious reader! I don’t think I’ve read anything that many times but I read everything I could get my hands on when I was a kid.
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Do know the Green brothers, thanks to my oldest who has been an ardent fan and follower of both for many years. 🙂
As for the scenario, I can really put myself in those shoes but I’m not sure at all. I would probably be on a delay!
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Meaningful posts as always. This is an interesting question because I can relate to it. Being a shy adolescent, my emotions have often held me back from making certain decisions that have repercussions. Several years ago, I faced a dilemma when my family made decisions to immigrate to Canada. We had only recently settled down in the Middle East with dreams of prosperity. I had fallen in love with a girl in school whom I had dreams to marry. Being a socially awkward kid that wasn’t popular, I couldn’t bring myself to ask out a girl that was admired by everyone. I thought that I would look like a fool be treated by my peers with ridicule. So, I never got the chance to express my feelings towards her. When my family made decisions to immigrate, we were forced to suddenly separate. Looking back, I wish that I had taken action by expressing my feelings to a childhood companion. Years later, the sad fact is that we completely lost touch with each other.
Your post once again brought to mind the wonderful movie “Past Lives”. It’s essentially a film that’s all about questioning past decisions and how things would have turned out differently if certain choices were made. Here’s why I loved it:
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